As the demand for large extravagant weddings rise so does their cost. In 2012 TheKnot.com and WeddingChannel.com Real Wedding Study concluded that the average wedding budget is $28,427. Having a dream wedding may be every girl’s fantasy but what about having a stable and fulfilling marriage? People are willing to spend their entire savings and months or years planning for the perfect wedding but what are they willing to do for a solid marriage? Premarital counseling has been shown to reduce the chance of divorce by 31% according to a Journal of Family Psychology study. Couples are now actively trying to identify causes of divorce and reduce them in their relationships. The good news is, it’s working!
Before taking the plunge and spending all the precious time and energy on a perfect wedding, consider taking time to solidify your future marriage and take steps to prevent divorce. The return on investment is priceless when it comes to premarital counseling. Engaged couples often are found to be resistant to premarital counseling out of concern that their relationship may be exposed to areas of conflict. This idea can create anxiety in couples, who are blissfully planning a wedding and honeymoon. It is normal for couples to have issues about which they don’t agree. These issues exist in most, if not all, marriages.
Even though it’s understandable to want to avoid topics that could lead to relational distress, premarital counselling can provide preventative maintenance for a relationship, exploring areas of potential disagreement, and learning how to respectfully discuss them. You will learn skills that you can use throughout your marriage; skills that will indeed provide a positive return on your financial and emotional investment. Premarital counseling will provide the space for you and your partner to discuss: expectations you have for your partner and for your marriage, how to create healthy communication patterns, how to listen respectfully (even when you completely disagree), how to set relationship rules that will serve to protect your relationship (such as not arguing a topic for more than 20 minutes at a time), expectations about frequency of sexual intimacy, how money is spent, saved, and invested, how best to manage relationships with parents and in-laws, stepchildren, etc.
Dr Anne Malec
Most women will turn deaf ears to any suggestion to cut wedding costs and save for rainy days.
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