Are You Settling For Less?

 

Are you out of her league? The fear of ending up alone could lead you to settle for less in your love life, finds a new study from the University of Toronto.

Compared to people who were content without a companion, those who freaked out at the idea of being single forever were roughly 18 percent more likely to stay in a lousy relationship. What’s more, participants who worried about their singledom were more willing to date people who were less attractive, less kind, and less caring, explains study author Stephanie Spielmann, Ph.D.

How can you tell if your current relationship is a compromise? Keep your eyes peeled for these red flags:

You keep waiting for her to change, but it hasn’t happened yet. Unfortunately, it probably never will, warns Ava Cadell, Ph.D., author of the soon-to-be-released NeuroLoveology. You could spend the rest of your life waiting, but you’re better off moving on, Cadell says. 

You’re constantly ragging on her with the guys. It may come across as a dead giveaway, but Spielmann said many of the fearful study participants openly acknowledged that their current relationships were bad. But they also made excuses about “needing” the relationship, or that it was “part of their identity.” If you find yourself thinking that way, you’re simply stalling, Spielmann says.

You and your partner aren’t alike, especially in terms of your education and the types of people you like to hang out with, says Karen Sherman, Ph.D., a psychologist and author of Marriage Magic! Find It, Keep It, and Make It Last. If your social habits or academic backgrounds don’t align, you’re probably settling, Sherman says.














Markham Heid