The gender issue of today has had no adverse effect on the tradition of marriage proposals. Till date, men go on their knees to ask for their women’s hand in marriage, especially in the western countries. The Nigerian man who believes it is a western influence would also find himself prostrating to his in-laws during the introduction process. The significant aspect and similarity in all of these is respect and humility, irrespective of the culture, exposure or influence.
Women often have great expectations and can sometimes predict if proposal is imminent but for some, the waiting period can be surprisingly exciting. For others, it may be daunting and terrifying in case, just in case it doesn’t come. Waiting for a marriage proposal from someone you plan to spend your life with can sometimes be terrifying, especially if you have been in the relationship for many years and now hoping that it is only right he pops the question and take the relationship to the next stage.
Many women who find themselves playing the waiting game often wonder why their partners are not ready to make that important commitment and it can be frustrating and humiliating. But the question is simple, “Should any woman be desperately seeking if she is not absolutely convinced?”
I believe you have your set goals and aspirations about marriage and your man is not left out in this either, even though you may be more inclined into fixing the broken puzzles in your relationship. If you believe strongly that the man in question is Mr. Right, there are many reasons why your man may not be prepared to propose now.
You may have been in the relationship for many years and he is still not ready to propose yet, even though he feels strongly about his commitment. If things are going well between the two of you, your partner may not want to take things to the next level for fear of losing the comfortable relationship you already have, but would rather take it nice and slow down for now.
He may also understand the responsibilities that come with marriage and perhaps not fully prepared for this role even though he is under undue pressure from families and friends, after-all he is honest about his feelings and not prepared to run before he can walk.
Let us be realistic, if you are one of those women who get unreasonably angry and over re-act at trivial issues, you may be scaring your man away from proposing. Certainly, if you cannot deal with issues in your relationship, you are definitely not likely to make through the stress that comes with marriage. Think about it, no man would want to take a gamble with such attitude; a proposal may certainly take forever, that is if it ever comes.
You need to re-examine your relationship first and convincingly reassure yourself that you are prepared to accept his proposal based on all the factors you consider important to you two as a couple and not because the clock is ticking.
He may be an introvert who finds it difficult to express his feelings and fears, in that case you may want to ask him what he thinks about your relationship and his plans for the future. You are likely to get his opinion and his positive or negative outlook too.
You may be joined to his waist with no identity of your own. If you constantly suffocate your man and deny him of his own independence and pleasures with his friends in exchange for your self-seeking love, you may also be waiting for a proposal which may or may never come.
No woman likes to play the waiting game anymore as there are more women in the world today than men and let us be realistic, marriage is not particularly a bed of roses and waiting for a proposal because you have been in a long term relationship may not always be the best resolution.
Appreciate the present moment and make everyday and moment an opportunity instead of waiting in anticipation for nothing and let yourself absorb how today feels exactly as it is. This is what you’re hoping to have forever, if it does result in marriage.
ELIZABETH BADEJO
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