Tuesday, 1 September 2015

Parents defend right to kiss their children on the lips after doctor calls it 'sexual' and 'confusing'

Last week an American psychologist's controversial comments, originally made in 2010, went viral and caused a stir in the parenting community.
Mums and dads responded with outrage to Dr Charlotte Reznick's opinion that parents should not kiss their children on the lips as it is 'sexual'.
She said: "As a child gets to 4 or 5 or 6 and their sexual awareness comes about... the kiss on the lips can be stimulating to them.
"Even if that never occurs to a child, it's just too confusing! If mommy kisses daddy on the mouth and vice versa, what does that mean when I, a little girl or boy, kiss my parent on the mouth?

"If I had to answer when to stop kissing your kids on the lips, it would be now."

Mum and blogger Louise Rodgers, aka The Puzzled Mummy, wrote the below post defending her right to kiss her own child.
Once she posted it on her Facebook page, other parents followed suit and began posting 'kissing selfies' in defiance. Have you got a 'kissing selfie'? Share it on our Mirror Mums Facebook page or email yourmirror@mirror.co.uk.

Collecting Kisses, by the Puzzled Mummy

Louise Rodgers aka The Puzzled Mummy wrote a blog post defending her right to kiss her child on the lips
Over the past couple of days I have been collecting 'kissing selfies' of parents and their children. Here's why.
It has been all over parenting news recently that comments have been made by Dr. Charlotte Reznick in regards to kissing your child on the lips.
According to Dr Reznick, we should stop kissing our children on the mouth, as she believes it is "too sexual."
She gave the following statements in order to validate her point:

1) If mummy kisses daddy on the mouth and vice versa, what does that mean, when a little girl or boy kisses their parents on the mouth?

"Is this a trick question? Some kind of screwed up riddle? Let me have a go at cracking it. I'm guessing that mummy and daddy kiss on the mouth because...erm...well...they love each other? They are showing affection?
"And as for what this means when a parent kisses their child on the mouth, then I'm going to hazard a guess here and say I'm pretty sure it means the same thing! Where does the sexual part come in here?
"Kissing is different in many cultures. Some cultures kiss on the mouth, some kiss both cheeks, and some rub noses! But the one key thing they have in common is the fact that it's a display of affection.

2) If I had to answer when to stop kissing your kids on the lips, it would be now

"Ok, well first of all I'm pretty sure no one asks the question "when should I stop kissing my child on the mouth?" - but let's for one weird, messed-up minute, pretend that they did.
"If I had to answer that question I'd probably say there will come a time when your child no longer wants to kiss you at all, never mind on the lips.
"Just the same as they will stop holding your hand or needing you to tuck them in to bed at night. Kids develop, they grow.
"They will no longer require you to feed them, bathe them, toilet them. And at some point they will probably be embarrassed to walk down the same street as you. So don't sweat it!
"Secondly, if I were to take your advice, Charlotte, are you really telling me that although I have been kissing my child on the lips for four years, I am now supposed to suddenly stop? What reasons would I give for this?
"When my child innocently comes to me for some love and affection and I coldly push him away and do not allow him to kiss me, how do I justify this?
"How about this: 'Mummy can't kiss you on the lips, darling, as it's an erogenous zone and I don't want you to think I'm being sexual'.
"I'm pretty sure even my four-year-old would know that was b******t!"

3) Kissing on the lips can be stimulating

"Wait... what? Stimulating, to me, in regards to a child means something that engages them, motivates them.
"A stimulating activity for my child is a walk in the park, looking at nature, different colours and shapes.
"If me kissing my child stimulates him I would hope that you mean it motivates him to show affection to people he loves, engages him with the feeling that he is loved unconditionally.
"But I get the feeling that's not the kind of stimulating you are referring to, in which case I highly advise you to stimulate yourself in to seeking help."

4) It's just too confusing

"I think it would probably be more confusing for a child if their parent stopped kissing them in the way they always had.
"What thoughts do you think that would provoke in a child?
"I think the only person who is confused here is me. I'm confused as to what I can and can't do with my child for fear of every action being sexualised.
"I'm confused as to what I will be told I can't do next?
"Will I be advised not to bath my child for fear of touching an erogenous zone that may cause stimulation? Will I be advised not to breastfeed? Change their nappy? See them naked?
"Hell! Let's just make C-sections the compulsory way of giving birth to ensure our newborn children don't see our vaginas during labour and have to deal with the trauma of it for the rest of their lives.
"Perhaps Bounty could start recommending blindfolds and mitts as part of a newborn starter pack!"


  1. This is so not right. The writer is soo full of anger & hate.
    Please kissing children to me is best on the cheeks especially from age 1 upwards. Days & months old babies could be cuddly but repulsive at older age. - my opinion & what I practice with my 3 kids praise God! Muuaah!

  2. I beg to differ madam Louise;it's hard to raise kids these days of sexual disorientation it makes their life easier to get some things Luke kissing them on the cheeks or forehead.