Wednesday, 14 December 2016

When you're about to get married in 6weeks & then find out that your Fiancé is actually your brother

Just six weeks before getting married to her “soulmate,” a woman found out her fiancé was actually her half-brother.
What could possibly be worse than this? And to think his fiance/brother knew for a year and never said a word?That's sick.
Giphy Embed

Read the story she posted on Reddit for yourself here:


Here’s the thing…he LIED to you for a whole YEAR about something really, really important. How can you ever trust him again? — Pola_Xray

Basically, this woman on Reddit had an “absentee dad” and was raised by her single mother and her mother’s parents. Meanwhile, her fiancé was raised by his mother and stepdad. When she was working on wedding invitations, her mother-in-law-to-be asked her to invite one more guest: her son’s real dad. She showed the bride-to-be a picture of his real dad and, what do ya know, IT WAS HER DAD, TOO.And possibly the worst part of it all? Her fiancé knew. HE. KNEW.
 found out yesterday that my fiance and I are related. He's known for  year.
Throwaway for obvious reasons.
I don't know what to do. I'm terrified. Even writing this has sent me into a panic attack and I've needed to take two xanaxes to get through it.
But here we go.
I've been with my amazing fiance for two years now. We met through a tabletop roleplay group and had an instant connection. There was chemistry between both us and our characters and, as the campaign came to a close, he asked me out.
It was a big deal for both of us. We're both nerds -- as you can tell -- and our social circles are pretty small. Both of us have trouble getting out there and socializing. We're more the type to keep our heads down. It was only my second serious relationship and his first. After a year of dating, we got engaged. We finally moved in with one another a month ago and our wedding is in six weeks. Beyond the normal little domestic naggings, things have been perfect. He's my soulmate. I don't know what I'd do without him.
Our families are both really small. My father was never involved in my life and never was his family. I was raised by a single mother and her parents. It was dysfunctional; but not as bad as it could have been. No one got molested or anything. There was just a lot of fighting on top of the absentee dad stuff.
My fiance's family was the complete opposite. They're pretty much perfect. His mom and dad are great and the most giving people I know. His sister has become one of my dearest friends. They even sit down with eachother for Sunday dinners. Who does that? I've always been in awe of them.
I always thought they were perfect, so it came as a shock to me that - while working on wedding invitations - my future MIL mentioned that my fiance's dad is actually his stepdad. I asked to see a picture of his real dad and I nearly passed out when my MIL showed my a pic of my dad.
I don't know how I kept from screaming and stayed conscious. I excused myself from the room and promptly threw up. I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm pregnant now; which is just a whole other can of worms unleashed.
I got home and confronted my fiance about it. I was crying. I was screaming. He just sat there, fidgeting. Eventually, he admitted that he's known for a year but didn't want to lose me. Since we always planned to be childfree, he didn't see the problem with just keeping it from me.
I'm betrayed. I'm disgusted. I'm hurt. I'm ashamed. I'm heartbroken. I don't know what to do. I've invested so much money into this wedding and much of it is non-refundable. On top of that, I don't know how I'm going to explain this to my family and friends. Worse yet, I love him. I know we can't be together; but until yesterday, I thought we'd grow old together.
What do I do? What the fuck do I do?
tl;dr: Met and got engaged to fellow nerd. Turns out we accidentally pulled a Lannister. I'm in the midst of a nervous breakdown. My life is ruined and my heart is broken.
EDIT: This is blowing up and, quite frankly, it has me real nervous. But you all have been so kind with your advice. I felt you deserved an update.
For one, my fiance (let's call him Jaime) stayed at his parents' last night. They have no clue what's going on. I think he may have just told him I'm on my period and need some space -- which sounds dramatic, but if you'd ever met me while I'm PMSing, you'd understand.
I'm still not sure what to do. I have some many conflicting emotions. Just when I feel like I'm starting to come to some sort of epiphany, it's like someone drops a boulder on my head. I'm being crushed under this weight and I don't know if I'll ever manage to crawl out from under it. I still can't believe this is real. I keep hoping he'll call me and tell me it's a joke.
As a side note -- I gotta say. The majority of you seem to be totally cool with the idea of brother-sister incest. I know the internet is kind of a depraved place; but I wasn't expecting that AT ALL. Unfortunately, I don't think that same attitude would be mirrored in the offline world. And, even if it was, I'm not sure I can go through life as the girl who fucked and married her brother.
I'm just very conflicted and torn right now. I'm going to lay down for a nap since I've been up well over twenty-four hours at this point. When I wake up, I may give my bio!dad a call for the first time in ten years. We need to talk.
EDIT 2: I still have yet to take that nap. I've been trying to keep up with the responses and reply to people; but this has officially become way too big. I'm going to take another shot at getting some sleep and, when I get it, I'll call my bio!dad and figure out what I want to do. I may end up deleting this thread, though. This is really too much. You guys are amazing and so incredibly kind; but I never expected it to get this big. I'm also so tired that I'm bordering on becoming delirious. need rest. now. Zzzz -_-
I learned that today. I'll update as soon as things calm down here.

People on Reddit were mostly just pissed at her fiancé for keeping it from her for an entire year

He knew. He didn’t tell her. For a YEAR. Who knows what else he hasn’t told her. — StraightWhiteMale_

I couldn’t be with someone like him for the simple fact that he didn’t say anything until you found out, OP. What else is he going to hide from you throughout the years if you decide to go through with this. Also, if you honestly feel that you will never be able to get past him being your biological half brother, then do not marry him. — egggplant_

 You didn’t do anything wrong, but it is okay, normal, and healthy to decide that the biological relationship and his lying are dealbreakers. — OkapiFan

 He lied by omission for a year. That’s a deal-breaker. As someone who saw red flags but still married the guy, I can say that divorce sucks more than breaking off an engagement does. It’s better to have the “divorce” before the wedding. — PhoenixTheReader 

Wow. As others have said, this is a huge thing to keep from you for so long. By keeping it from you for that length of time, he took away your chance to attempt to figure it out together from the very beginning. Which is a thing I think most successful partnerships need. I imagine you’re feeling like you’ve been tricked into this situation, into doing things you wouldn’t have done had you known. If you’re interested in keeping the relationship going, I’d certainly recommend couples counseling. And if not or you don’t know then at least counseling for yourself. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. — pennyraingoose

 If he hadn’t kept it from you, I would say make a decision based on how you feel and not how you think others will perceive your relationship. However, if I found out my fiance had kept a monumental secret so he wouldn’t lose me, I’d get the fuck right out of there. Who’s to say he won’t keep another monumental secret from you? Example: what if he found out a year ago that he had HIV, but kept it from you so you wouldn’t leave him? Even if you didn’t contract it, he was still willing to hurt you to keep from being hurt. — waveform_component

 I don’t know if I would marry someone who willingly betrayed me by keeping the truth from me. I would never be able to trust him again after he’d already proven when life throws curveballs he makes decisions on his own. Without. You. — saaucii 

A man who keeps a secret from you for a year is not a man to be with. A man who keeps an incestuous secret from you for a year is not a man to be with. What else is he hiding? How could you ever know for sure you knew everything? Edit: Also, any money spent on a wedding and so on is already lost. You don’t get it back by staying with this loser. — Drakeytown 

Your half-brother lied to you about your actual relationship to get you to agree to marry him? I mean, I’ve heard of red flags…but this is a line of red flags running for miles. — blueeyes_austin 

1 comment:

  1. The guy is a sicko that gets his kick from sleeping with his sister.imagine knowing for a whole year and still banging her sister#pukes