Another Tragic Loss To Domestic Violence.

Anger,they say,is small madness....

A man that has no control over his emotions is not yet fit to be in the midst of elders,they also say.

Anger dwells only in the bosom of fools.-Albert Einstein

I lost a childhood friend to domestic violence and am torn. My emotions run deep,what excuse can a man utter to lift a finger on a woman biko?
My first thought was''Not another Ogo Onugu''!I gasp...her story of domestic violence that echoed round the country was to be a lesson,a warning to others trapped in this web of abuse - domestic violence can lead to death.

Now someone else I know has gone too. Her story is heart breaking.
She was emotionally abused and physically tortured for more than 16 years,and she stayed on,she stayed on because she was afraid,she stayed on because she blamed herself,she stayed on because no body will believe her story over her husband's,because he is  a PASTOR, so called ''man of God''.

She was sweet and quiet,with a calm smile that belied her suffering,she married at 21,while she was still a student at UNN. After each trip home from school, she had a tattoo of scars and had to take time to recover from her husband's show of manhood-his blows.He constantly got her pregnant and even hit her when she was pregnant! She had several miscarriages as a result of the numerous beatings.She hung in there because she too was a pastor.Her 16year old son treated her like a stranger,a father  turned  his own  son against the mother.Her last child is barely a month old. She had her baby in February and died on February 27...
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame-Benjamin Franklin

And so it ended on one of her frequent trips to the hospital,where her ''pastor-husband'' dumped her,it turned out to be the last time because he insisted they give her a sleep inducing injection. She never woke up after the shot.

Most abused homes these days are headed by men who hide under the mantle of ''pastorship''.

He probably sits in a dark corner,gloating and relieved to be free from her,but in the full glare of the church cries and moans like a goat in labour.
Where was her family during all this? I'm told she confided in very few people and didn't want the world to know.

Now the world knows.

What a painful loss.

Rest in peace.