Five ways to keep your relationship strong.

THE red roses and boxes of chocolates might remind us to keep the romance alive on Valentine's Day, but what’s the secret to having a long and happy relationship?

Well that depends on your gender. Melbourne counselling psychologist Rosalie Patternden told news.com.au that men and women look for different things to define a happy relationship. And getting the balance right between both is vital if you want your relationship to last.

TALK

Women actually release a hormone that makes you feel good, called oxytocins, when they are talking. Unsurprisingly, men don't get this feeling from talking – they get it from sex and exercise.

"Men still need to talk to their partners, though. Talking to each other helps you stay connected and being connected is the key to having a relationship that survives," Dr Patternden said.

SHARE WHAT MATTERS

Remember to tell your partner about things that inspire and motivate you, as well as the things that stress you out. Dr. Patternden said busy lives make it easy to only talk about things when you're in hurry, or day-to-day matters such as bills and work.

"Schedule in at least half an hour every week where you just sit down and talk about whatever is on your mind. Also try and remember the things your partner tells you about important meetings they've got coming up or activities they're excited about and check in with them once they've happened."

EXERCISE

Working out together might not seem like an obvious choice of activity to share with the one you love but Dr Patternden said it's an effective way to not only keep you healthy but keep you inspired to track each other's progress.

BE INTIMATE

Sex is important but it's not everything. Dr Patternden said feeling close to one and another is also about sharing secrets and information or parts of yourself that nobody else would know about.

HAVE FUN

Dr Patternden said many couples who come to him have completely forgotten to have fun with one and another. "Make sure you laugh together as often as you can and help each other see the silly side of life," he said.