How to Keep your Relationship going Strong & Alive.

 


If you’re wondering how you can keep your relationship healthy, don’t worry!  There are simple things that you can do on a regular basis to improve your connection and keep your love for one another strong.
Take a Trip Down Memory Lane.
With all the different stressors and issues couples face, it is easy to forget what brought them together in the first place.  Take a trip down memory lane with your partner and reminisce on how you first got together.  What attracted you to him/her?  What were your first impressions of each other?  What were the first few months of your relationship like?  Remembering these times can easily rekindle those initial loving feelings.
Learn to Listen.
When talking to your partner, make sure to listen completely and nonjudgmentally.  Make sure you are trying to understand their point of view, even if you don’t agree with it.  Many people get caught up in trying to think of their response rather than listening – make sure to avoid this trap!  Couples who are skilled at providing each other with social support have been shown to be healthier and happier than less skilled couples.
Draw Love Maps.
John Gottman, a forerunner in couples research, has found that partners can feel closer and more intimate by taking as little as five extra minutes a day to create “Love Maps.”  To do so, at the beginning of the day each partner shares what his or her day will be like.  During the day, each partner thinks about the other and appreciates what his or her day must be like.  At the end of the day, partners share and listen to closely to how one another’s day went. Research has shown that one major route to intimacy within romantic relationships is regular communication about the daily happenings of each partners’ separate life.
Show Support.
Identify two small or simple things that each of you can do to provide comfort or support to one another when the other is having a difficult time or bad day.  Research has shown that partners that can support each other around shared challenges and shared disagreements can actually experience increased intimacy in their relationship.
Play to Your Strengths.
In addition to the strengths listed above, there are some other common strengths that many couples have.  Find out what strengths you have as a couple, and use them to your advantage.  Knowing what you’re good at can help you improve other parts of your relationship, and deal with stress and other issues easier.

• Good friends: Couples research has found that the quality of a couple’s friendship is one of the strongest predictors of relationship well-being. Partners who are good friends to each other have been shown to be more resilient to the ups and downs of day to day life.
• Acceptance: While all couples have their naturally occurring differences and all partners have their quirks, the healthiest couples have found ways to cope well with these differences and to accept each other for the “natural flaws in the fabric”. Recent couples research has recognized the critical role of acceptance in couples healthy relationship functioning.
• Commitment: Couples research has consistently found a strong association between shared commitment and relationship health and stability. Commitment appears to be that quality of a relationship or marriage that helps partners to actively care for their relationship health and to more easily weather the difficult times.