Does Infidelity Mean the End of A Marriage?

Petreaus with his wife of 38years

Remember the Petreaus sex scandal that went down? Friends have revealed that the former head of the CIA has given up his relentless schedule of high level meetings for ‘self-imposed exile’ and grovelling to his family, his wife of 38 years didn't kick him out. When a spouse cheats, does it mean the marriage is over? In the Nigerian context right now, it seems to be tit for tat, one doesn't leave the marriage based on infidelity when you can also go out and cheat. Two wrongs, they say, don't make a right. So what gives?

The consensus seems to be that both Nigerian men and women are usually unfaithful, and only a few are faithful. And while the women will forgive a cheating man and remain in a relationship or marriage for fear of the same thing happening in a new marriage, more men will immediately let their cheating women go. Some of the men however insisted they would want the woman to explain the reason for her infidelity, and will probably keep her and the marriage.

In the AARP Sex, Romance and Relationships Survey on the sexuality of people 45 and older, it was found that divorces resulting from extramarital affairs happen for only a relatively small number of couples. So while infidelity is certainly the precipitating factor in some marriages failing, it's not the reason in most cases. Some of the survey results are as follows,

Among all the survey respondents, 21 percent of men and 11 percent of women admit that they cheated during a current or recent long-term relationship. In pointing fingers, about 12 percent of both sexes say that their partner cheated on them. Surprisingly few people say the cheating did irreparable harm to their relationship: Roughly 40 percent report that it had no effect at all, about 30 percent think it only caused temporary tension, and a mere 6 percent or less say it was the fatal blow.

What's more, some report that infidelity made their relationship better. About 25 percent of cheaters say that it gave their relationship a boost in the sex department, and 11 percent of cheatees agree.

As you can imagine, who did the cheating matters... Nearly 60 percent of female cheaters say their stepping out had "no effect" on their relationship, and just 9 percent think made their sex lives worse. Among women with cheating partners, however, only 24 percent say it had no effect on the relationship-and almost 40 percent say it made their sex lives worse.

From the results it also shows that the gender of the person answering the questions matter - women who had been cheated on were almost three times as likely to say that their partner's cheating caused a lasting tension and lack of trust, over the 6 percent of men who had been cheated on who say their sex lives were worse after their partner's infidelity.

Does this mean, men are more likely to forgive infidelity from their women than we think?