There are certain phrases a man should just never utter when he’s fighting with his significant other.
It doesn’t matter how rational or irrational she may actually be because, when you’re arguing, the majority of rationale has already been tossed out the window.
When someone is lashing out at you, it’s only natural to tell this person to “calm down;” however, when that someone is your girlfriend — and she’s pissed — this is the last thing she wants to hear, whether the reaction is warranted or not.
In that moment, the woman feels as if her emotions are completely justified, so when you decide to use any of these phrases, you’re mostly nullifying and invalidating them.
1. “Relax.”
What he really means: “Oh babe, don’t get so worked up, it’s really not a big deal.”
What it means to a female: “YOU ARE OUT OF YOUR F*CKING MIND.”
Why you should stop using it: Because no matter how sincere you are, this phrase is the quickest way to ignite the fire that’s already blazing.
Synonyms: “Calm down;” “take a deep breath.”
2. “You’re crazy.”
What he really means:“You are acting completely irrational and out of character.”
What it means to a female: “What you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”
Why you should stop using it: You ain’t seen nothing crazy until you label a woman as such; we take it as a challenge.
Synonyms: “You’re being irrational.”
3. “My ex never did this.”
What he really means: “Someone I dumped so I could upgrade to you wouldn’t even pull a stunt like this.”
What it means to a female: “He hates me;” “I’m about to be dumped;” “FML.”
Why you should stop using it: This is a low blow and should never ever be uttered.
Synonyms: “This isn’t normal;” “I’m appalled;” “WTF did I get myself into?”
4. “It’s not that big of a deal.”
What he really means: “It REALLY is not that big of a deal.”
What it means to a female: “I don’t care about you at all.”
Why you should stop using it: It minimizes our concerns.
Synonyms: “I don’t care;” “It doesn’t matter.”
5. “It’s all in your head.”
What he really means:“I’m not sure why you would think that when there is no logical reason to…”
What it means to a female: “You are creating problems that don’t exist because you’re being paranoid for no reason.”
Why you should stop using it: It insinuates that we are crazy.
Synonyms: “That isn’t even true!”
6. “You look fine.”
What he really means: “You look good.”
What it means to a female: “You look absolutely awful”; “You look like nothing special.”
Why you should stop using it: Just tell the girl what you know she wants to hear, it’ll only help you out in the long run.
Synonyms: “That looks fine.”
7. “Whatever.”
What he really means: “I give in! You win!”
What it means to a female: “I couldn’t give less of a sh*t.”
Why you should stop using it: We don’t believe for a second that you actually don’t care.
Synonyms: “It’s fine;” “We’re fine;” “Everything’s fine.”
8. “I’m not mad.”
What he really means: “I am actually not mad at all.”
What it means to a female: “I am actually pissed and you definitely do not want to hear how I really feel.”
Why you should stop using it: We know you’re really pissed even if you don’t know it.
Synonyms: “I’m totally fine;” “I swear everything is fine.”
9. “You look the same.”
What he really means: “That is the best f*cking haircut I have ever seen in my whole life!”
What it means to a female: “Did you just waste $200 to look exactly the same?”
Why you should stop using it: JUST LIE TO US!
Synonyms: “You don’t look any different.”
10. “Are you sick?”
What he really means: “I am very concerned for your health because you don’t look like you normally do.”
What it means to a female: “You look absolutely horrific and disgusting.”
Why you should stop using it: Do you want to make us any more self-conscious than we already are?
Synonyms: “Are you tired?”
11. “You have a big ass.”
What he really means:“I like that booty!”
What it means to a female: “You’ve got a little too much junk in your trunk.”
Why you should stop using it: We don’t take it as a compliment unless you explicitly say it as one.
Synonyms: “Give me that tush.”
12. “It’s fine, no one will notice.”
What he really means: “I can’t even tell that pimple is there.”
What it means to a female: “We did a half-ass job of covering up our blemishes and now you know exactly where they are.”
Why you should stop using it: Because you are just supposed to pretend you “don’t know what we’re talking about.”
Synonyms: “You can’t even see it!”
13. “I need some space.”
What he really means: “I just need to focus on work right now; I have a very busy work week.”
What it means to a female: “You’re a suffocating monster.”
Why you should stop using it: Because the opposite would be much, much worse.
Synonyms: “I just need some guy time.”
14. “…Then why are you even her friend?”
What he really means: “Why are you wasting your time with someone you clearly can’t stand?”
What it means to a female: “You are an irrational human being.”
Why you should stop using it: We need someone to vent to about our friends and it’s in your job description to fill this role.
Ashley Fern
follow on twitter @amwaltzinmatild
follow on twitter @amwaltzinmatild
It irks me when my bae uses these comments.I can so relate
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